Featured Post

3 Cost Effective Ways to Solve Metro Manila's Traffic Problem

Image
The Facebook page of ANC 24/7 is asking for its reader's suggestion on how to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem. This got me thinking, "what is the best way to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem?" It's easy to make suggestions, what's hard is the implementation and the cost of implementation. So what is the the best way to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem and the most cost effective solution? Punitive Fines Add caption First of all, any implementation will definitely cost money, a lot of money. The cause of the traffic mess is the people themselves so it's only right that those causing the traffic problem should be fined and the fine should hurt. That way, the fines will pay for the cost of enforcing the law. The fines should start at P500 and goes up every week if you don't pay it within 15 days. To enforce this and prevent people from ignoring the fine. It will be tied to their driver's license or car registr

Pacman Jokes

On the eve of Manny Pacquiao's fight with Clottey. Here are some Pacman jokes.

**********************

Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.

Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!

Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.

Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?

Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?

Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Reporter: Nung nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?

Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.

Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?

Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.

Doctor: (gulat) magpapa-sexsi ka na?

Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Para umayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..

Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!

Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.

Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?

Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.

---------- ---------- ---------- --------- --------- ----------

Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu anu magandang name?

Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin... MANKY......

---------- ---------- ---------- --------- ---------- ----------

Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.

Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.

Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.

Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?

Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky) yuk!

--------- ------- -------- --------- --------- ---------

Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets.

Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?

Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita, ang dilim!!

--------- ------- -------- ------- ------- -----------

Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa Gen Santos ...

Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa Gen Santos ?

Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi kulang diyan ay....

Reporter: Ano..?

Manny: Ahh, kwan,...maraming Fish sa Gen Santos pero wala masyado umo-Order e.

--------- --------- -------- -------- -------- ----------

Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk

Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?

Freddie: Meron... Manhid ka lang!

--------- --------- -------- -------- -------- ---------

Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!!

- Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal

-------- ---------- -------- -------- --------- --------

Sa Las Vegas .....

Waiter: May I take your order, Madam?

Aling Dionisia: Soup

Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?

Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!

--------- ---------- --------- --------- ------- --------

Sa isang Birthday Party

Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!! nge!

--------- ---------- ------- --------- -------- --------

You is!' 'you is! you is!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika... Andito na ako sa 'you is!'

-------- ---------- -------- --------- ------- ----------

Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating.. ayun kadadaan lang sa tabi ng ringside.

Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST PASSED AWAY!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Family Planning TVC 2014

Is Piolo Pascual Gay?

Philippine Business Monopolies