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3 Cost Effective Ways to Solve Metro Manila's Traffic Problem

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The Facebook page of ANC 24/7 is asking for its reader's suggestion on how to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem.


This got me thinking, "what is the best way to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem?" It's easy to make suggestions, what's hard is the implementation and the cost of implementation. So what is the the best way to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem and the most cost effective solution?

Punitive Fines
First of all, any implementation will definitely cost money, a lot of money. The cause of the traffic mess is the people themselves so it's only right that those causing the traffic problem should be fined and the fine should hurt. That way, the fines will pay for the cost of enforcing the law.
The fines should start at P500 and goes up every week if you don't pay it within 15 days. To enforce this and prevent people from ignoring the fine. It will be tied to their driver's license or car registration. They cannot renew their d…

Ay Basta, Bahala ka!

Mrs. Tanoy is very kuripot. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary.

The ad taker replied: P300 pesos for 5 words.

She said: Pwede ba 2 words lang? "Tanoy dead"

Ad taker: No mam. 5 words is the minimum.

After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: 'Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo : 'TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE '

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Boy: Nay may ulam ba?

Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.

Boy: Eh nay, wala naman tayong ref, di ba?

Nanay: O, e di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!

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Caloy: Tay, di ba sabi nyo bibigyan nyo ko ng P100 pag pumasa ako sa Math?

Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba?

Caloy: Gud news, tay! Di ka na gagastos ng P100.

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Man at 33 quits smoking. Will Power;

At 43, quits drinking. Will Power;

At 53, quits gambling. Will Power;

At 63, quits having sex. Power Failure.

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Kano (trying to speak Tagalog): Meg-kanow isang kilow mang-gow?

Tindero: One way.

Kano : Meg-kanow?

Tindero: I sed ONE WAY.

Kano : Aynowng ibig sabeyhin ng one way?

Tindero: Isang daan. Understang?!

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Erap: Kalokohan! Di ako naniniwala! Walang taong ganun kataba!

Loi: San ang balitang yan?

Erap: Dito sa dyaryo. Sabi; 'British tourist lost 2000 pounds.'

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MMDA (with pen and ticket to a traffic violator):

Name?

Foreigner Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz.

MMDA: Ahhh okay...(sabay tago ticket)...Next time be careful, ok?

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BF: Sunduin kita mamaya ha. Bubusina nalang ako pag nasa harap nako ng
bahay nyo.

GF: Cge. Anong sasakyan ang dala mo?

BF: Wala. Busina lang...

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Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard...

Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay taong laging may suspicious mind, highly alert, insistent personality, strong sense of hearing with a killer instinct. Sa tingin mo ba qualified ka?

Tomas: Sa palagay ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun misis ko nalang ang mag-apply?

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Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, she HAS TO.

But....when HE cancels a date......

he HAS TWO.

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Junior: Nay, bibili ako ng HIGH CAKE.

Nanay: Hindi high cake, anak. HOT CAKE yun.

Junior: Ok nay, watever. Pahingi nalang ng barya.

Nanay: Sige, kumuha ka nalang dyan sa SOLDIER BAG ko.

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Pasyente ... magkano ang facelift?

Doktora ... complete treatment ay P145,000

Pasyente ... mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment para
magmukha akong bata?

Doktora ... heto tsupon, P20 lang!!

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ORDER

Customer ... waiter! bakit ang tagal ng order ko? ilan ang cook
nyo dito?

Waiter ... ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito...pipse lang po!!

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PROBLEMA NGA

Pasyente ... Doc, may problema ako...tuwing alas otso ng umaga dumudumi ako...

Doktor ... so, anong problema doon?

Pasyente ... Eh alas nuwebe po ako nagigising.

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PINTURA

Erap ... Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo.

Loi ... Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init, init !!!

Erap ... Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2 coats.

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MANNY PAKYAW

Reporter ... Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na?

Manny ... Ano'ng bill? yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawa't
round sa bukseng?

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HOLDAP

Lola ... Amang, wala akong pera!

Holdaper ... Alam ko kung asan ang pera mo...[sabay pasok ng kamay sa bra ni Lola]

Lola ... Ituloy mo iho, may dollars pa sa ibaba!!

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