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3 Cost Effective Ways to Solve Metro Manila's Traffic Problem

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The Facebook page of ANC 24/7 is asking for its reader's suggestion on how to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem. This got me thinking, "what is the best way to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem?" It's easy to make suggestions, what's hard is the implementation and the cost of implementation. So what is the the best way to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem and the most cost effective solution? Punitive Fines Add caption First of all, any implementation will definitely cost money, a lot of money. The cause of the traffic mess is the people themselves so it's only right that those causing the traffic problem should be fined and the fine should hurt. That way, the fines will pay for the cost of enforcing the law. The fines should start at P500 and goes up every week if you don't pay it within 15 days. To enforce this and prevent people from ignoring the fine. It will be tied to their driver's license or car registr...
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Tawanan Muna!

FACELIFT
Pasyente ..... Magkano ang facelift?
Doktora ... Complete treatment ay P145,000.
Pasyente ... Mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata?
Doktora ... Heto tsupon, P20 lang!!!
________________________________________

ORDER
Customer ... Waiter! bakit ang tagal ng order ko? iIlan ang cook nyo dito?
Waiter ... Ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito...pipse lang. Pipse!!!

________________________________________

PROBLEMA NGA
Pasyente .... Doc, may problema ako...tuwing alas otso ng umaga dumudumi ako...
Doktor ... So, anong problema doon?
Pasyente ... Eh alas nuwebe po ako nagigising.
________________________________________

CUSTOMER
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train..
Lady sitting next asked, 'are they your babies?'
Man: 'No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints!'
________________________________________

ACCIDENT
A lawyer driving on a highway notices a crowd in an intersection.
With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action, he shouted,
'I'M THE SON OF THE VICTIM.'
Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through.
There he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people...a pig
bumped by a trailer truck!
________________________________________

PINTURA
Erap ... Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo...
Loi ... Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init, init !!!
Erap .... Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2 coats.
________________________________________

MANNY PAKYAW
Reporter ... Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na?
Manny ... Ano'ng bill? Yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawa't round sa bukseng?
________________________________________

HIWALAYAN
Wife ... Maghiwalay na tayo!
Man ... Ok! akin ang bahay!
Wife ... Akin ang farm!
Man ... Akin ang kotse!
Wife ... Wag mo isama driver, matagal ng akin yan.
Man ..... Magkakamatayan tayo! Akin siya!
________________________________________

HOLDAP
Lola ... Amang, wala akong pera!
Holdaper ... Alam ko kung asan ang pera mo...[sabay pasok ng kamay sa bra ni Lola]
Lola ... Ituloy mo iho, may dollars pa sa ibaba!!
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Mrs. Tanoy is a very kuripot Ilocana. When her husband died, she inquired
with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary.
The ad taker said: '300 pesos for 5 words.'
She said: 'Pwede ba 2 words lang? 'Tanoy dead' '
Ad taker: 'No mam. 5 words is the minimum.'
After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: 'Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo,
'TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE '
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Boy: 'Nay, anong ulam natin?
Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.
Boy: Eh wala naman tayong ref, di ba?
Nanay: O, e di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!
________________________________________

Caloy: Tay, di ba sabi mo bibigyan mo 'ko ng P100 pag pumasa ako sa Math?
Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba?
Caloy: Gud news, tay! Di ka na gagastos ng P100.

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Man at 33 quits smoking. Will Power;
At 43, quits drinking. Will Power;
At 53, quits gambling. Will Power;
At 63, quits having sex. Power Failure.
________________________________________

Erap: Kalokohan! Di ako naniniwala! Walang taong ganun kataba!
Loi: S'an ang balitang yan?
Erap: Dito sa dyaryo. Sabi; 'British tourist lost 2000 pounds.'
________________________________________

MMDA (with pen and ticket to a traffic violator): Name?
Foreigner Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz.
MMDA: Ahhh okay.....(sabay tago ticket)...Next time be careful, ok?
________________________________________

BF: Sunduin kita mamaya, ha? Bubusina na lang ako pag nasa harap na 'ko ng bahay n'yo.
GF: Sige. Anong sasakyan ang dala mo?
BF: Wala. Busina lang...
________________________________________

(Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard...)
Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay taong laging may suspicious mind, highly alert, insistent personality, strong sense of hearing with a killer instinct. Sa tingin mo ba qualified ka?
Tomas: Sa palagay ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun misis ko na lang ang mag-apply?

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