Shorties But Goodies To Start The Year Right

Fast nowadays! The film makers in Hong Kong are already doing a film about Tiger Woods' car crash. It's going to be tentatively titled:

"Crouching Tiger, Hidden HYDRANT!"

===================

A Lion would never cheat on its mate..

..but a Tiger...WOOD!

===================

ERAP, running out of funds to finance his new run for the presidency, decides to rob a bank. Upon entering the bank, he pokes a gun at a teller and demands:

"Give me all your money, or you'll be Geography!"

Teller: "Ummm..sir, maybe you mean History?"
ERAP: "Basta,don't change the subject!"
===================

At a Hotel in Las Vegas :

RECEPTIONIST: Excuse me sir, but will you be staying here for the whole week?

AMERICAN: I'm afraid not..

RECEPTIONIST: And how about you sir?

Manny Pacquiao flexes his shoulders, then proudly replies:

"I am not AFRAID!!!"

===================

A Short Story:

A woman is driving down a steep country road, while a man is driving up the same road. As they pass each other, the woman rolls down her window and shouts: "PIG!"

The man is startled, then yells back: "BITCH!"

The man rounds the next curve and crashes into a HUGE PIG lying in the middle of the road, and he dies!

Moral of the Story:

If only men would listen more.