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Showing posts from March, 2010

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3 Cost Effective Ways to Solve Metro Manila's Traffic Problem

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The Facebook page of ANC 24/7 is asking for its reader's suggestion on how to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem.


This got me thinking, "what is the best way to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem?" It's easy to make suggestions, what's hard is the implementation and the cost of implementation. So what is the the best way to solve Metro Manila's traffic problem and the most cost effective solution?

Punitive Fines
First of all, any implementation will definitely cost money, a lot of money. The cause of the traffic mess is the people themselves so it's only right that those causing the traffic problem should be fined and the fine should hurt. That way, the fines will pay for the cost of enforcing the law.
The fines should start at P500 and goes up every week if you don't pay it within 15 days. To enforce this and prevent people from ignoring the fine. It will be tied to their driver's license or car registration. They cannot renew their d…

Pedobear On Child's Cake

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I laughed when I saw this.
This is just so wrong.

Hunger In The Philippines

This short movie won the 56th Berlin International Film Festival for Most Popular Short Film.

It shows the plight of many poor Filipinos and how much those who have the means waste their food.

So think twice before you order your food and don't waste your food.

Coke Happiness Machine

Coke is really good at advertising.

How Manny Villar lied and used the death of his brother Danny

From the Philippine Star.

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“Nakaranas na ba kayong ... mamatayan ng kapatid dahil wala kang pera pangpagamot (Have you experienced losing a brother because you did not have the money to provide him proper medical care)? — Manny Villar asked in his “PANATA (Advocacy)” TV commercial. Villar was referring to his younger brother Danny who passed away on October 1962. In the same commercial, Villar’s 1962 photo with his younger brother was shown.

This portrayal of being poor once upon a time is a fantasy which comes in a series of similar attempts by Villar to create empathy with the nearly 90% of voters who belong to the socio-economic classes D and E. However, this particular attempt to use his late brother Danny to further his political ambition showed that Villar is as capable of lying just like Madame Gloria Macapagal Arroyo (GMA).

Two public documents — the death certificate of Danny B. Villar and the Transfer Certificate of Title (TCT number: 135396/3194) of the 56…

In The Jungle with Dick Gordon

Nice to see some candidates have a sense of humor.

PUP Student Protest

Here's the video showing the PUP Students who smashed chairs and desk protesting the 2000% increase in their tuition.




What I'm wondering is, if they are angry of the huge increase in their tuition which is P12/unit going to P200/unit, why would smashing chairs and tables be the answer to that? Wouldn't the school have to replace those and wouldn't it take money to replace those as well? Where would the school get the money? Oh right, from the student's tuition! Dumb asses.

There are better ways of protesting than destroying property. Destroying property just lowers your bargaining position. And they call themselves educated. That's the most uneducated way of protesting.

I admire that fact that they want to fight against tuition increase. I have no problem with that. But they have to be both reasonable in their demands and how they protest. For P12/unit, what kind of education can you expect? Sure it's government subsidized. But haven't they heard of infla…

Marriage Humor

Wife:'What are you doing?'

Husband: 'Nothing.'

Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears...'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

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Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or trou…

Short basketballers in Philippines fly high

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

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MANILA — In a brightly lit Manila gym, basketball players make daring lay-ups, desperate rebounds and even the occasional dunk — all amazing sights considering the tallest man on the court is the referee.

Its all part a fledgling league in the hoops-crazy but sometimes vertically challenged Philippines aimed at leveling the playing field by setting height limits and removing the natural advantage of taller players.

The Below Six-Feet Basketball League (B6BL), an amateur league operating in Manila, has attracted an enthusiastic following from the many Filipinos too short to compete in the bigger competitions.

"It represents the kind of basketball for Filipinos where they can show their talents in speed and shooting," rather than relying on height, said B6BL founder Nilo Fernandez.

At the B6BL games, the players -- who have to be shorter than six feet (1.83 meters) -- have the enthusiasm and competitiveness to make up for thei…

Anne Curtis Bikini Incident

You've probably heard about this already. You may have even seen the photo and the video of Anne Curtis' bikini incident. If you don't know, what happened was, while taping a show for ASAP in Boracay, her bikini top fell off and exposed her right breast.

Well, I'm not going to be showing you the photo or the video. It has already circulated around the Internet.

It's too bad that she had an accident with her wardrobe. It's worst that people are actually circulating it. Perhaps we should show a little more respect and try not to make an embarrassing situation worst. Whatever you think of Anne Curtis, I think it's not fair to exploit someone's misfortune. It's much more dignified if we don't act like animals howling at seeing a woman's breast. And you know, it's not like she was Janet Jackson who probably planned her wardrobe malfunction. Hey, it's life, shit happens. Let's not glorify it by showing that to the world.

Here's an int…

Arroyo allies in Cebu nix Teodoro for Villar

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

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MANILA, Philippines—While Malacañang was not looking, Nacionalista Party (NP) presidential candidate Sen. Manuel Villar has quietly gained the support of the biggest political party and the most powerful political family in vote-rich Cebu, according to well-placed party sources.

Villar met with congressmen and local officials belonging to One Cebu and the Garcia family behind closed doors at Marco Polo Hotel in Cebu City on Wednesday.

Although details of the meeting were not disclosed to local journalists, Alvin Garcia, who is seeking to regain the city’s mayoral post, announced an alliance between his party, Kugi Uswag Sugbo (Progress for Cebu) or Kusug, and the NP in a press conference at the same hotel.

His position was different from that taken by his cousin, Cebu Gov. Gwendolyn “Gwen” Garcia, who founded One Cebu and has expressed support for Lakas-Kampi-CMD standard-bearer Gilbert Teodoro.

The governor sealed President Gloria …

Your Political Candidates

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Jokes

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,

"What is your occupation?"

The woman replies, "I'm a whore."

The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman, "OK, I'm a prostitute.". "No, that is still too crude. Try again."

They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?".

"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year. "

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A lady walks into the dentist's office, takes off her underwear, sits down on the chair and spreads her legs wide open. "You must have made a…

A Married Couple Was In A Terrible Accident

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'

'My darling,' she replied, 'I get al…

Pilipinas Got Talent - Jovit Baldivino

Jovit Baldivino is an Internet hit with his audition on ABS-CBN's Pilipinas Got Talent. His video has more than 2 million hits on Youtube.. Jovit who is from Marilas, Batangas sells siomai after classes to help his poor family.

Here is his video on Pilipinas Got Talent.

Here's an amateur video of Jovit Baldivino with his rendition of Journey's Open Arms.

The Surprising Science of Motivation

Makes you think twice on how people are motivated. And it's not all about money.

Warning About Profile Photos

This is why you shouldn't trust the profile pictures you see on Facebook or other social networking sites.

New Police Car

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Saw this new police car that will be manufactured by Carbon Motors. Ford has been the main supplier for police vehicles in the US supplying up to 70% of the market. Carbon Motors is developing the Carbon E7 which is said to be designed and built specifically for policy enforcement use. It features bulletproof door and dash panels, radiation and biological threat detectors and diesel engines that can reduce fuel costs by up to 40 per cent.

The engine specs is a 300 horsepower, 420 lb-ft torque clean turbodiesel engine which will be supplied by BMW.

Here are some photos of the car.

Removal of Maggots In The Nose

This is probably one of the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. Don't watch it if you have a weak stomach. Eww...

The Spoon

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well, 'he explained,'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.

After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he…

Hugh Jackman Sings A Country Western Song...in Mandarin

Kris won't leave the Buzz, says ABS-CBN needs her for ratings

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

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LAOAG CITY, Philippines—No, controversial TV host Kris Aquino is not leaving her Sunday gossip show "The Buzz" on ABS-CBN, saying the network needs her for the ratings.

Aquino made the statement in an interview with some reporters here on Thursday.

"No. No, no," she said when asked if she would leave the program after she complained last week that she was being used to attack her brother, Senator Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III.

"Actually, if you review carefully what I said, sinabi ko sinabihan ako ng sisters ko na walang quitter sa pamilya. So klaro naman ‘yon. So I will be there on Sunday," she said.

Asked if she would take a leave from her other television shows aside from her late night show "SNN" also on ABS-CBN, Kris answered in the negative.

"Alam mo masyado ka namang excited na mawala ako. Kawawa naman ang ABS-CBN, kailangan pa rin naman ako for the ratings," she said.

B…

Vendors using food sweetener face arrest

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

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MANILA, Philippines—Manila policemen on Wednesday vowed to crack down on vendors selling or using a substance called “magic sugar” as food sweetener.

Citing the hazard it poses to one’s health, Supt. Nelson Yabut, chief of Manila Police District Station 3, ordered his men to check on vendors in the Sta. Cruz area and go after those involved in the illegal sale and use of the substance.

Yabut said they arrested the other day a vendor from whom they seized 30 grams of “magic sugar.”

Public safety

He said the vendor admitted using the artificial sweetener for the cold drinks he sells.

“Although we understand that these vendors are trying to make a living, we cannot tolerate this illegal practice,” Yabut said. “We should always put the safety and well-being of the public first.”

The police official also warned vendors caught using or selling “magic sugar” that they could be charged with the violation of Republic Act 3720, or the Foods, Dr…

The Future of Magazines

With the coming of the iPad, magazines have been conceptualizing on how to take advantage of the technology. Below are samples of concepts of motion magazines created by Alexx Henry Photography for Viv magazines.
VIV Mag Interactive Feature Spread - iPad Demo from Alexx Henry on Vimeo.
Here is a video on how it was made and other concepts.
VIV Mag Featurette: A Digital Magazine Motion Cover and Feature for the iPad from Alexx Henry on Vimeo.

Funny Doritos Commercials

Saw these commercials for Doritos.

This one is from the winner of the Crash the Super Bowl 2010 called House Rules.

Buy, Buy American Pie

Transformers War for Cybertron

I think I'm about to drool. I hope it's good as it looks.


Prosecutors ready to tackle complaint vs Pineda over RP anthem row

From GMA News TV.

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Government prosecutors are ready to tackle a prospective complaint from the National Historical Institute against Journey lead singer Arnel Pineda over his rendition of the Philippine national anthem during the bout of boxing icon Emmanuel “Manny" Pacquiao against Joshua Clottey in Texas Sunday (Manila time).

In a radio interview Monday, Justice Secretary Alberto Agra said the prosecutors will take first crack at the complaint that the NHI threatened to file against Pineda for changing the tone and tempo of the anthem when he sang it.

"Lahat ng reklamo, lahat na complaint, kailangan dinggin ng DOJ. Kung sa unang yugto di pa ito umabot sa Office of the Secretary, ito ay didinggin muna ng prosecutors (The DOJ is duty-bound to tackle complaints lodged before it. But it will initially be brought at the level of the prosecutors before the Office of the Secretary)," Agra told dwIZ radio.

On the other hand, Agra admitted he could not pass ju…

Kris Aquino Cries on TV

Kris Aquino cries on TV on her show The Buzz. I guess this is regarding her issue with Ruffa Guttierez or something and something about Noynoy with matching background music. The drama of Philippine politics.

Pacquiao vs Clottey Free Live Stream

From The Citadel.

Watch Pacquio vs Clottey Live Stream this March 13, 2010 (US) and March 14, 2010 (PH). Manny Pacquiao will face Joshua Clottey at the Cowboys Stadium. They’ll be fighting for the World Weltherweight Champion.

How to Watch Pacquio vs Clottey Free Live Stream? Just follow the instructions.

1.) Download SopCast. Just click this link http://download.sopcast.cn/download/SopCast.zip

2.) Install the software and run it.

3.) Login as anonymous and click on live channels.

4.) Click on the CCTV-5 Channel under the Sports Menu. Or you may enter sop://broker.sopcast.com:3912/24267 or sop://broker1.sopcast.com:3912/6002 and click on the right arrow.

5.) Enjoy the fight!

Credit to The Citadel Blog.

Pacman Jokes

On the eve of Manny Pacquiao's fight with Clottey. Here are some Pacman jokes.

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Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.

Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!

Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.

Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?

Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?

Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!

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Reporter: Nung nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?

Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.

Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?

Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know!

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Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.

Doctor: (gulat) magpapa-sexsi ka na?

Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Para umayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?

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Crazy Japanese Game Show - NSFW

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Japan has the wackiest game show. This is wacky and sexy!


Two little kids are in a hospital

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that

done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born...

Couldn't walk for a year....

Jokes

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde.

The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells,
''EARTHQUAKE!!!''

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready!

Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''

**********************

A young teenage girl was a prostitute an…

Grandma

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'

'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he…

Never Assume

A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the Acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the Acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need one copy."

Lesson: Never, ever, assume that your boss knows what he's doing.

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of Sears and shyly walked up to
the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '

' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'

' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from .'

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied:
'There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?'

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.

The Catholic type supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
The Baptist type makes mountains o…

Girl who saved brother from fire suffers infections

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

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BACOLOD CITY, Philippines—The six-year-old child from Sipalay City who saved her four-month-old brother from a fire has been transferred to the burn unit of the Teresita Jalandoni Provincial Hospital in Silay City because her wounds have developed infections.

Virginia Rojo was treated at the Sipalay Infirmary after the upper half of her face and hands suffered second degree burns when she saved her baby brother, Joren, from a fire that destroyed their house in Barangay San Jose, Sipalay City on Feb. 28.

Dr. Francis Hinayan of the provincial hospital said the burnt areas of the child’s body were being cleaned to prevent infection. These burns were expected to leave scars on Rojo.

Rojo earlier said "Papa Jesus" woke her up and told her to save her brother from the fire, as her mother and older sister were not in the house at the time.

Rojo has since been hailed as a heroine, especially by her neighbors, and numerous donation…

3D Desktop For Your Computer

BumpTop 3D is a 3D desktop to help keep you organized. I couldn't install it on my computer since my computer is not powerful enough for it. But it does look good.

Here's the demo.


Here's the website for BumpTop 3D.

Aquino, Villar face pastor’s ‘divine wrath’

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

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DAVAO CITY—The two front-runners in the presidential race Tuesday failed to show up at what had been billed as a major debate, and the wrath of the “Son of God” came down upon them.

Sen. Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino III of the Liberal Party (LP) had excused himself, citing sinus problems, while Nacionalista Party (NP) candidate Sen. Manuel Villar was tied up in a series of meetings, aides said.

Six other candidates—former Defense Secretary Gilbert Teodoro, Senators Richard Gordon and Jamby Madrigal, former President Joseph Estrada, evangelist Eddie Villanueva and environmentalist Nicanor Perlas—attended the presidential forum organized by the group called “Kingdom of Jesus Christ, the Name Above Every Name.”

The sect is headed by Pastor Apollo Quiboloy, a self-proclaimed “Appointed Son of God” who claims millions of followers.

No word, no honor

For Quiboloy, who still has to decide on whom his group will support on May 10, it’s all about …

HP Slate

HP has released a video of their upcoming tablet computer called HP Slate. And yes, it runs Flash.


Here's a demo video.


No pricing yet. But is this an iPad killer?

Rise Above Plastics - Plastics Kill

Saw this nice ad about plastics. Pretty good message.

Know Your Presidential Candidates

Philstar has done an interview of each candidates. They include personal information about the candidates, including declared assets and liabilities, as well as family, friendship and business ties that could affect policy making in the next administration.

Here are the list so far and will add to them as PhilStar publishes them. Click on the candidate's name to be directed to the written excerpts of the inteview.

Manuel "Manny" Bamba Villar Jr.


Joseph "Erap" Estrada/Jose Marcelo Ejercito


Gilberto "Gibo" Eduardo Cojuangco Teodoro Jr.




Noynoy Aquino

Teodoro: Time for RP to go nuke but not Bataan plant

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

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MANILA, Philippines—With many parts of the country suffering through rotating power outages, administration standard-bearer Gilbert Teodoro Jr. on Friday said it was time for government to seriously think about developing nuclear power to prepare the country for a power crisis in the next 50 years.

Speaking at a forum with defense reporters, Teodoro suggested a two-fold method for government to deal with the country’s deteriorating supply of energy.

“One, deal with the current shortfall in power supply by facilitating power barges and big users of electricity with whatever they need to self-generate,” said Teodoro, who resigned as defense secretary in November to pursue his presidential candidacy.

The other way is to explore the use of nuclear energy to address power shortages in the next 50 years, he said.

“We have to look that far ahead so that every year, we could put in the additional infrastructure necessary to create generatin…

Popular Science Put Entire 137 Archive Online -- Free!

Popular Science has partnered with Google to put its entire 137 year archive online for free.

It includes all the original articles as well as the advertisements of the time.

Check it out at http://www.popsci.com/archives.

One-hour rotating brownouts in Metro, Luzon—Meralco

From the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

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MANILA, Philippines – Parts of Metro Manila and Luzon should expect one-hour rotating brownouts Thursday, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., according to power distributor Manila Electric Co.

Joe Zaldarriaga, Meralco external communications manager, in an interview over dzMM, said outages were expected in certain areas in Caloocan, Quezon City, Malabon, Batangas and Cavite.

Zaldarriaga explained that the outages were due to a 245-megawatt power supply deficit in the Luzon grid. This deficit is expected to further worsen to as much as 380 megawatts by 2 p.m., he added.
=======================

This is the problem with having short term vision and corruption in the Philippines.

Instead of tackling this problem 10 years ago. The government basically gave Meralco and the IPPs the task of handling the problem. And as expected, all they did was to build something to maximize their profits instead of actually solving the problem.

They basically created …

Penguin's Upcoming iPad books

Looks like this is the future of what we'll see in e-books coming to the iPad.

Economics

"The purpose of studying economics is not to aquire a set of ready-made answers to economic questions, but to learn how to avoid being deceived by economists." - Joan Robinson, British economist (1960).

Turn Your Arm Into An Input Device

Skinput, is a research collaboration between Carnegie Mellon University and Microsoft. It is an experimental device that turns your skin into a touch screen.

The video below shows how the device works. Basically, it detects the sound pattern that that is created when you tap your palm or forearm.

Watch.


I wonder how far this technology will go. Will we actually be able to change channels by tapping our fingers in the future? It certainly beats trying to find the remote.

Rube Goldberg Machine In Music Video

Ok Go made this great music video with a Rube Goldberg machine. It's pretty cool.

Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found Shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.


Dear Mrs. Hudson

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. J.Hudson are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7:
He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Cod…